Once upon a time, there was this man and he was crazy like that. He sat on his
couch all day, thinking about thinking. He would do that and eat and go to the
bathroom. One day he was hit with a rock. The rock made him think about it. You
see, when this man-oh shoot I did not tell you his name!-was sitting at home doing
nothing some punk kid named mad jack through a rock through his tinted window
(this man was so lazy that he had his windows tinted so he did not have to sweat
from the sun coming it through the window). Shall I tell you this mans name?-was
so angry at this that he went to Wal-Mart and got a shotgun. Along with that he got
some advice on how to choose a thoughtful, beautiful, reasonably priced floral
arrangement from the helpful people there. This guy finally got home. He took out
his shotgun and found some bullets in his kitchen. He then did what he had to do.
He took the gun in pensive rage and cocked it. He was ready. At the count of three
he shot his refrigerator. The refrigerator moaned. The guy ran away in terror. He
came back 10 minutes later. The only thing that was working on the poor
refrigerator was his indoor convience light. It was flashing like a ghetto srobelight.
It was saying “ why did you do this to me?” in refrigiratallian. Refrigerator let it ride
and through up some weird fluid that that dude had never seen. He regretted that
he had shot refrigerator. Refrigerator’s time was through though. That man had
wished he could change that. He wished he could do magic like Harry potter- he
had been reading it like religious walkabouts! He wished he was a genie like in the
blockbuster smash, Kazam. Suddenly, Shaq came through the window. HE was
wearing some L.A. Laker gear, because he is worth millions, and it takes millions of
feet of fabric to clothe the giant maniac. The guy asked Shaq what to do. Shaq
said to “drink Pepsi” The other man said “what?!?!?!?!?” Shaq later replied: “okay,
wear Reebok.”
THE END